While I have this sliver of your life directed at me, I'm going to tell you a story. My story. I figured that I could try to make up some super interesting thoughts to write about but I realized that my life could essentially be a television show. You can't make this stuff up people. I'm pretty terrible with telling a story in order but bear with me and it'll make sense.
I'm going to start with today and work my way backwards. I am currently sitting in a nice fluffy green chair. Why is this significant? Well, it's not mine. In fact, the room I'm in isn't mine, neither is the house. I'm not "homeless" but I am without a home if that makes any type of sense. My friend J is letting me stay at her house right now and I must say, I'm loving it. This seems kind of silly but I'm super pumped to be here. I get my own bed! That must sound kind of silly but don't rain on my parade! I'm excited! I've never really had a bed to call my own or a house if we're getting technical.
Oh boy, I don't know how to tell this story but I'm going to try. Let's scratch that and kinda start over. Hi! Welcome! My life is no fairy tale! I'm seventeen years old and I'm kinda living on my own. Bizarre, right? It's not unheard of though. Honestly, I never thought my life would be like this. Okay, yeah my mom might be a little crazy and my dad a little mean but I mean, it got to this point. I'll probably elaborate on this later but I guess all you need to know is that my parents marriage went "boom" when I was seven years old. It wasn't pretty. Hell, it's been ten years and it's still not pretty.
It seems super cliche but my parents splitting really affected me, I used to be a "Daddy's girl". My dad was always my favorite and I wasn't afraid to admit it. Then, things changed when my dad cheated on my mom and left us. (Us being my mom, my sister, and me) It broke my ity bity little heart. I trusted my dad more than any other person on the planet and then he was gone. Ten years ago and I still have trust issues. Nice.
Anyway, since then I've always lived with my mom. It wasn't bad. It wasn't great either though. I was a mess and so was my mom. My sister, Momo, was a little too young to really understand what was happening. My mom became depressed and things went downhill for a little bit. We lost a lot of money and, well, we ended up searching for pennies. Have you ever wondered if you were going to be able to eat tomorrow? 10/10 would not recommend. It was not fun.
After some severe harassment from my dad's side of the family and a lack of money, we ended up moving in with our aunt Vicky. There are no words to describe the amount of hate I harbor for this woman. This is when shit went down, my friends. My mom had always verbally and mentally abused my sister and I but this is when the physical abuse started to occur. It wasn't bad at first, just a few slaps here and there.
Anyways, there was a pretty big storm in my house this year and it resulted in CPS and the police getting involved. Even though I don't necessarily love or trust my father unconditionally, he really stepped up. My sister is currently in a different state with my papa. I'm still here. All alone. Well, okay, not exactly. I have this guy in my life.
Okay, well, maybe he's kinda like my anchor right now. This man, Mr.S, is crazy in the best way possible. The story I just told you in not even the beginning of my story and this man has stood by my side since the day we met.
I'm about to get all deep and thoughtful here so this has been your warning. Imma throw out some life lessons here. Your birth family are just that. They are given to you and you are given to them, but at some point you make your family. We'll call that a Family 2.0. These are the people who love you unconditionally and you them. My birth family includes people who wouldn't bat an eye if I died. Family 2.0, on the other hand, would be at my funeral yelling at me for leaving them. They would be telling stories and laughing about all the dumb shit I did in life. These are the people I love. They are far and few between. My Family 2.0 only had my sister and Mr.S right now. They are only two people but they make me feel more loved than I have ever felt before.
So, screw the notion that "blood is thicker than water". Take the time to learn that the saying is "The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb."
I've seventeen years old and I have no idea what my future is going to look like. I stress out so much that my hair is thinning and I get physically sick but somehow I know that it's going to be okay. Life has a really screwed up way of working out.
Last but not least, if you're reading this and going "this girl is crazy", you're absolutely right. Through the darkest of times I can see the best of everything. So call me naive or ridiculous but keep on reading because you're going to see how despite everything, Imma be okay.
Stay tuned!
