Hey, I'm Bella.
I'm your average- everyday kind of gal. So, you might wonder what's so special about me that I had to start a blog. Honestly, I'm not sure. My boyfriend brought up the idea and I realized that I actually really wanted to try.
I'm just going to go ahead and start off with who I am. Actually, I'm going to tell you who other people think I am. I receive the comment of, "but you're so shy!" about a million times a day. Which, I think is pretty hilarious due to the fact that I'm not even kind shy. I'm a really introverted person and I don't talk to many people but hat doesn't mean I'm not listening. Y'all don't think I can hear you when you're gossiping but I hear all, I promise you. So, next time you think a really shy person is being quiet and is absorbed in their work, think again. I swear eight times out of ten they will be listening to your every word.
I also receive the comment, "you have sad eyes" a lot. There's a long story behind this phrase for me. I like to think that eyes reflect who you are. I think it's almost impossible to hide raw emotions in your eyes. The truth is, I am sad. That's why I have sad eyes. When I was 15 years old I was diagnosed as depressed and I also have anxiety. Whenever my mom would talk about this she would always say that I "suffered" from these two things. I can't claim they've made my life a joyride but they've taught me so much.
I'm not the friend that you're going to want to invite to a huge rager or a crowded pool party, in fact I don't get invited to a lot of things but that's mostly because my friends understand. I don't do well in crowds, in fact, I do remarkably awful. Too many people can trigger an anxiety attack and oh-boy, that's never fun. I figure out which friends were okay with me being different. These are the ones that will invite me but warn me in advance.
I, like any other person with depression, have ups and downs. The ups are crazy high and the lows are bottomless but we all deal. Friends that really love me understand this too. There are days where I just feel nothing at all. I won't laugh. I won't smile. I won't cry. I won't yell. I won't even talk. I'm just there. Then there are days where every word and touch can trigger crying, screaming, and anxiety attacks. But, I also have those beautiful days where the sun is extra warm and the grass feels like heaven beneath my feet. My friends are there for everyday and trust me, I don't know how they do it.
So, I'm okay with the fact that I'm a girl with sad eyes because it's taught me about life and the people who should be in my life.
Anyways. That's a little bit about me.
As for what I'm going to write about on this blog, I'm not really sure, if I'm being totally honest.
Stay tuned!
